La Fraternite du Bondage Gastronomique's Restaurant Reviews
"Bound to Eat!"
- outstanding (Abraham Lincoln) |
- really good (Theodore Roosevelt) |
- pretty good (Harry Truman) |
- so-so (Dwight Eisenhower) |
- lacking virtue (Richard Nixon) |
0 stars - execrable (George W. Bush)
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High qualiity bar menu.
Great burgers, with excellent meat and splendid onion rings.
Top notch fries, if you want 'em.
Salads are better than worthwhile, which means large enough, tasty enough,
interesting enough, and, most important, they justify the damage you will do with the
burgers, rings and fries.
(Dessert at Perry's.)
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Genabond in November? Two bondages in one month? How can this be?
It can be because, as of 11/23/08, Genoa no longer is.
We felt a swan song was necessary, even though it entailed violating the bylaws we would have had, had not the bylaws we don't have now prevented us from having them.
This marked three consecutive years of significant turnover on both sides of the kitchen door.
Service, preparation, taste and overall quality remained superb, however.
Portions were smaller than we'd have liked, but we didn't leave hungry.
Electabond - 11/4/08 (Steve's house)
From New York Times columnist Roger Cohen on November 5,
"The other day I got an e-mail message saying simply this: Rosa Parks sat in 1955.
Martin Luther King walked in 1963. Barack Obama ran in 2008.
That our children might fly." Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Full disclosure - we settled for convenience (The Blind Onion) instead of tradition and taste (Escape From New York).
Not bad for pizza-like substance.
The imminent prospect of once-in-a-lifetime great news dictated maximum viewing time for the returns.
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Pretty damn great barbeque. And it's not just the meat; the sides were sublime.
Our server implicitly understood our appreciation for mass quantities.
On top of that, she was friendly and efficient. No frills atmosphere.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's. Dessert at Alameda Cafe.)
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What Roux does, it does well.
An almost extensivish menu, and food prepared with more than a little originality.
Outstanding service - knowledgeable, witty, pretty assertive (in a good way).
Warm, non-trendified atmosphere.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's.)
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They know their wines, but this isn't merely a wine bar.
The food was wonderful and the choices well suited to serious eaters.
The service had good mix of attentiveness, knowledge and helpfulness.
Pleasantly low key, intimate atmosphere, but the live music was a bit too intrusive.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's. Dessert at Pambiche.)
Walkabond (NW, N, NE, SE, SW, NW) - 7/19/08
Seventeen stops - ties our '06, '07 record! Click here to see this year's itinerary.
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A place for people who value good food over white tablecloths.
We orderd a whole lotta stuff - the right thing to do in a small plates oriented place - and everything was great.
Do not miss the Basque cake.
Relaxed and friendly service matched the low key atmosphere.
You can't go wrong.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's.)
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An extensive and inventive menu guided us to a wonderfully prepared feast.
We were especially taken with the appetizers and dessert.
Special kudos for the duck confit and chocolate tangerine truffle cake.
Impressive entrees, but small portions left us wanting more.
Our server was superb - knowledgeable and attentive.
The pacing was stately. Though the room was crowded, we never felt pushed.
SG's atmosphere is restrained, not spartan, with a significant noise level.
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Stanabond VI. An outstanding foodie adventure.
We sampled lots of things - pretty easy in a tapas eatery - and wanted more of everything.
Friendly, competent service. Informal atmosphere suits the food.
Not as noisy as it seems when you're standing around, waiting for a table.
And you will wait.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's. Post-prebondage beer prebondage drinks at Cafe Wonder.
Dessert at Rose and Thistle Pub.)
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A menu filled with interesting options led to four different entrees and three different appetizers, all well prepared.
Our food was distinctly spicy but not overpowering.
Non-Indian desserts - chocolate chilli cake, mango cheesecake - were a hit with us;
purists may be offended.
We felt well cared for from the moment we walked in. Friendly service and a nicely paced meal ensued.
A wonderful atmosphere - elegant, understated, and a relatively low noise level.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's.)
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The menu offers complicated choices, but we mean this in a good sense.
Generous portions, unless you order fried chicken. In that case, the quantity rating jumps to our first ever 5+.
The fact that it's the best fried chicken ever should not be taken lightly.
Great service - smooth and friendly.
A plain, functional atmosphere that somehow wasn't too noisy, even with a full house.
You get a lot for your money.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's.)
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Outstanding!! The crust is amazing, the ingredients (including whole anchovies) fresh and tasty.
This is serious pizza, and they give pizza Nazis a good name.
The idea of pineapple on one of their pies would probably be met with a well deserved sneer.
Unless they decided just to kick you out.
The staff - all young and cheerful - provides way cool, knowledgeable service.
Terrific beer selection for a small place. Cannoli, the only dessert, is merely perfect.
We can't say enough!
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Our 12th Genabond?
Nearly complete turnover on both sides of the kitchen door for the second consecutive year.
But this time there are also substantial changes to the design of the dinners.
The result is a bit more choice and one or two more plates, but fewer official courses.
Though preparation and quality are as high as ever, portions are significantly smaller.
One oyster, one raviolo, for example.
Service remains exemplary.
Lagniappe - 11/15/07 (NE)
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Duck and tasso ham gumbo stood out among a number of excellent appetizers.
The menu offers a good selection oriented around Cajun standards.
Portions ranged from hefty (an excellent pork loin) to huge (an excellent jumbalaya).
B/t/w, "huge" means half the size of a bowling ball.
Our waiter was competent and congenial, while the pace of service was on the stately side.
The atmosphere's rather stark, with fair potential for noise.
Hard to complain about Louis Armstrong playing in the background, though.
The chocolate buttermilk cake reminded us of Ron Paul's famous buttcake.
In fact, that's what it is; the dessert chef used to work for Ron Paul.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's.)
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Wonderful menu; based on our best efforts to sample as much as we could fit in (a not inconsiderable amount),
it's hard to go wrong.
Decent portions.
Relaxed yet elegant atmosphere,
though a malfunctioning light that constantly flickered could have induced an epileptic seizure.
Attentive but not fawning service.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's. Dessert at Mama Mia.)
Roundtable Pizza vs. Roundatble pizza? "Cakeage" vs. cakeage? "Plouf" vs. Plouf?
The official, unabridged account of our first out-of-state bondage provides enlightenment.
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Great food in a pleasant, low-key setting. Our two duck dishes were superb, and the saumon fume was rave-worthy.
Reminds one of some of the better aspects of a French dining experience.
Only one waiter - friendly, knowledgeable, suitably opinionated - for the entire place, but he spent quality time with us (and everyone else) without ever seeming rushed.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's.)
Walkabond (NW, N, NE, SE, SW, NW) - 7/21/07
Seventeen stops - ties our '06 record! Click here to see this year's itinerary.
Navarre - 6/28/07 (NE)
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Like going to a food spa - lots of little things done well, and you feel better afterward.
Great fun romping through a meal that included buffalo, tuna and rabbit.
Hint: it helps to have at least 3 people in order to take advantage of the array of menu choices.
The single server was hard-pressed to keep up, but she did so with good humor and grace.
A simple, ok, a spartan interior. Loud but not raucous.
This foodie destination offers outstanding value.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's.)
Karam - 5/10/07 (SW)
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Sets the standard for Middle Eastern cuisine in Portland.
Our batenjan mekle appetizer was especially fabulous.
Karam's broad menu goes well beyond the hummus-baba g-kabab routine.
We greatly enjoyed lamb shank stew and goat casserole (one of several goat dishes).
Our good natured server was helpful and efficient.
Tony, the owner, personally attends to the important details with uncommon graciousness.
The result is consistent quality in a cozy, tranquil atmosphere.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's. Dessert at Mama Mia.)
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Stanabond V. Creative, hearty starters.
We were particularly impressed with the radicchio, brie, candied pecans combo.
A somewhat limited choice of entrees, but there's something for everyone.
Dishes feature unusual pairings, e.g., pork shoulder, mashed potatoes, pearl onions and prunes.
Competent and personable service enhanced by the warm, homey atmosphere. Terrific value.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's. Dessert at Alameda Cafe.)
L'Astra - 3/15/07 (NE)
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Surprisingly extensive menu for such a tiny place, but understaffing hurts.
Excellent assortment of salads; we particularly enjoyed the rabbit terrine.
Owing to a couple of kitchen mishaps, at least one of which was entirely avoidable, entrees took
an awfully long time to arrive. When they finally made it to our table,
we found them better than adequate, less than outstanding.
Our server, on the job for only a month, was quite nice and well intentioned. With a bit of seasoning,
she'll become more organized.
Vinyl records congruent with the no-frills atmosmosphere.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's. Dessert at Rimsky-Korsakoffee.)
Andina - 2/12/07 (NW)
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Distinctive, extensive menu with a "novo-Andean" slant.
Well executed from appetizers through dessert.
Hearty but not humongous portions.
Our unflappable waiter met our persistent questions with good humor and succeeded in finding answers.
Suprisingly, the "Pearlified" hip atmosphere was quiet enough for easy conversation, even on a busy evening.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's.)
Taqueria Nueve - 1/18/07 (NE)
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Good eats. Tacos, especially the wild boar jobbies, deserve special mention.
So do the octopus cocktail and the surprisingly tasty desserts.
Best of all was the exemplary service.
Our friendly waitress was close to perfect - attentive but not hovering; assertive but not
obnoxious; knowledgeable but not condescending. An informal, not too noisy atmosphere helped. (Prebondage beer at Cassidy's.)
Genoa - 12/7/06 (SE)
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Our 11th Genabond? Nearly complete turnover in the kitchen and out front.
Nevertheless, the food was as good as ever, as was the service.
Electabond - 11/7/06 (Steve's house)
"...and God saw that it was good." (Genesis 1) "So good, so good...." (James Brown)
Full disclosure - we settled for convenience (Pizza Schmizza) instead of tradition and taste (Escape From New York).
The imminent prospect of good news dictated minimal time away from watching the returns.
Acadia - 10/24/06 (NE)
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Good start with excellent pate and real anchovies on the Caesar salad.
But for the way too salty jumbalaya, our entrees were better than good.
Kudos for the humongous, tasty pork chop Toulouse.
Competent but not enthusiastic service.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's. Dessert at Alameda Brewhouse - bad food, worse service.)
Serrato - 9/22/06 (NW)
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A pretty wide ranging, interesting menu. The Caesar salad had real anchovies (after reminding our waiter).
The pizza was just ok; we had issues with the doughier than necessary crust.
Strong entrees included an outstanding eggplant tagine and a hearty tagliatelle with wild boar.
Complimentary wine while we waited longer than expected was a nice touch. Patient, competent waiter.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's. Dessert at Via Delizia - a not good idea.)
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Given the Asian theme, a fairly diverse menu.
Well prepared dishes; generous portions for the main courses.
Service was good natured and accomodating, though not especially knowledgeable.
Nicely paced meal.
(Prebondage beer at Cassidy's. Dessert at Perry's.)
Walkabond (NW, N, NE, SE, SW, NW) - 7/15/06
Seventeen stops - a new record! Click here to see this year's itinerary.
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An interesting menu that invites experimentation.
We selected what was supposed to be an anchovy laden pissadella. Good though it was, there were no more than 5 anchovies on it.
The prosciutto plate accompanied by mango chutney was superb.
Our entrees were hearty, though it took more than a little while for them to arrive.
Chocolate budino - wonderfully rich - ended an enjoyable meal.
The service was fairly attentive, a bit better than good.
Our waiter brazenly lobbied for a wine that he preferred to our selection. Props to him; it was excellent.
A beautiful but way too noisy space.
One caveat - check your bill.
Carefully. Ours was wrong. After they "corrected" it, it was still wrong. By a lot.
Savoy Tavern & Bistro - 5/9/06 (SE)
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An unassuming neighborhood eatery with a straightforward approach to dining.
Kinda hip, with a surprisingly diverse menu; kinda old-fashioned, with a choice of traditional sides to accompany
your entree. A good, affordable wine list and an excellent selection of beer. Friendly service.
(Dessert at County Cork.)
Colosso - 4/1/06 (NE)
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Stanabond IV. Nice place to take a leisurely stroll through the tapas oriented menu. Unexceptional, indifferent service. Dark atmosphere; bring a flashlight.
(Cheese course at Pizza Schmizza. Outstanding dessert at Epicure.)
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Gracious service in a bright, unmistakably-but-not-pretentiously hip setting. The restaurant's name reflects Indian cuisine with "spice route" accents. Our entrees ranged from excellent (swordfish) to excellent (lamb) to excellent (pork).
Outstanding selection of chutneys. (Prebondage beer at Cassidy's. Dessert at Pied Cow.)
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A significant improvement on pub food ordinaire. Tasty corned beef cabbage and shepherd's pie appealed to our hearty appetites.
Faux Irish selections (what's up with Irish quesadillas?) may offend purist sensibilities and offer the rest of us cause for concern. And speaking of purist sensibilities, our penalty for not ordering
Guiness was a pinot noir that was much too cold. Our server was merely competent. (Prebondage beer at Cassidy's.)
Fife - 1/10/06 (NE)
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Solid and repectable food from a menu that has pretty good range. Trendified (i.e., visually appealing open space with potential for noise) but unpretentious atmosphere.
Our waiter was helpful and good natured. Exceptionally friendly staff, who pay attention to detail.
Just don't ask for substitions on the dessert menu.
Genoa - 12/1/05 (SE)
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Probably our 10th Genabond. Fabulous in every way, as always.
Also as always, our initial choices covered only two of the three available entrees.
But this time we were prepared,
thanks to the hard work of our Double Secret
Probationary Ad Hoc Genabond Entree Retroactive Planning Committee (DSPAHGERPC).
We ordered an extra entree and thus got to sample the caccuccio.
Our subsequent enjoyment proved it is possible to improve on perfection. Just add more.
Epicure - 11/8/05 (NE)
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Pleasant atmophere with perfect lighting. Exceptional service. Our potato pancake appetizer was fabulous. The duck breast was good but not great, while the lamb chops were great, not just good. We dug the bodacious wine glasses, too.
Ciao Vito - 10/20/05 (NE)
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Somewhat pretentious and noirish atmosphere. Nothing particularly distinctive about the food; sugo of pork should have been called polenta with a bit of pork. Disappointing Caesar salad, allegedly a specialty. (Prebondage beer at Cassidy's.)
Esparza's Tex Mex Cafe - 9/29/05 (SE)
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Tex-Mex with some unusual twists, e.g., ostrich and buffalo. Our food was tasty but not terribly spicy. Great portions, even though they wimped out on the mole on one entree. On the other hand, a Tex-Mex pork loin was thoroughly buried in its sauce. That's meant as praise. (Dessert at Il Piato.)
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Creative preparations from a wide-ranging, interesting menu. NoPo hip vibe. If weather allows, eat outside. (Prebondage beer at Cassidy's.)
Walkabond (NW, SW, SE, NE, N, SW, NW) - 7/16/05
Thirteen stops. Click here to see this year's itinerary.
Lagniappe - 6/7/05 (NE)
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Not health food, but tasty and, more important, plenty of it. (Too bad they were out of brisket.) Especially great cole slaw and desserts. (Drinks at Colosso.)
Cafe Zenon - 5/14/05 (Eugene) picture
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Wonderfully eclectic menu, which changes daily - Moroccan, Indian, Asian, Italian, American and more. A mecca for chocolate desserts. Cheerful, highly competent service.
Our first non-Portland bondage. (Breakfast at Grempsey's in Corvallis. Assorted eats and drinks at Taylor's and Max's in Eugene.)
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Stanabond III. Pretty good food and lots of it. Friendly staff. (Dessert at Alameda Cafe.)
Montego Bay - 3/24/05 (SW)
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Jamaican. They were out of some stuff, and the service was pretty slow. What we had was good, especially the appetizers. You won't find food like this at many places in Portland. (Prebondage beer at Cassidy's. Dessert at Pazzo.)
Basilico - 2/28/05 (NW)
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Initial impression of pretense faded quickly. Wonderful Roman food, thoughtful menu.. Nicely paced, too. Andrea is among the most knowledgeable, professional and personable waitri we've encountered. Hurry in, because it's on one of Porltand's restaurant-corners-of-death (R.I.P. Zefiro & Zinc). Next year may be too late.* (Prebondage beer at Cassidy's.) *Don't say we didn't warn you. Basilico closed its doors at the end of 2005.
Bombay Cricket Club - 1/18/05 (SE)
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You can watch cricket while eating. Maybe a good thing, maybe not. (Prebondage beer at Cassidy's. Dessert at Rimsky-Korsakoffee.)
Genoa - 12/9/04 (SE)
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Probably our ninth Genabond. As always, 3-plus hours of perfection. An experience that transcends dining justifies the expense.
Electabond - 11/2/04 (Elmer's house)
Even mass quantities of Escape From New York pizza couldn't redeem the disappointing election results.
Eleni's Philoxenia - 10/19/04 (NW)
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Dark and pretentious. The food was pretty good, but not outstanding. (Prebondage beer at Cassidy's.)
Back to Bondage
Send praise (lavish), suggestions (helpful) or comments (thoughtful) to
teich@europa.com. Criticism (we're beyond it) or reproach (we're above it) should be directed to heckuvajobbrownie@fema.gov. Please put "Bondage" or, if you're the shy type, "Boundtoeat" in the subject line.