La Fraternite du Bondage Gastronomique
"Bound to Eat!"
(l-r) Steve, Jon, Phil, Elmer. Karam, 3/13.
Steve "Generalissimo" Teich, Minister of Information. Also a librarian at Oregon Health & Science University (retired). Divorced, one child. Hobbies include golf, literature, crossword puzzles. Special bondage responsibilities: tip calculation, web page management.
Jon "Jon" Hirsch, Chancellor of the Exchequer. Also an economist for BPA (retired). Married, one child. Hobbies include home remodeling, investing. Special bondage responsibilities: wine selection, creative change management.
Phil "Back on the Streets" Lewis, Attorney General. Also a criminal defense attorney. Married, two children. Hobbies include sailing, cigars, cooking. Special bondage responsibilities: gratuitous socializing with random customers, confit inquiries, complaints.
Elmer "Free Range" Zook, Secretary for Public Works. Also a finish carpenter. Divorced. Hobbies include fine woodworking, travel. Special bondage responsibility: lemon desserts.
We're four friends who get together monthly to eat at Portland restaurants. We don't know precisely when we started, but it was around April 1992. Our first dinner was at the now defunct Chang's Yangtze. Faced with a spouse's accusation of "male bonding," we proclaimed what we did male bondage. This has been known to cause consternation among some acquaintances.
Over the years, we've refined and embellished what we do, making it even more egregious. Check out Special Events for details.
You may note that, though we've been bonding since well before the end of the last century, our restaurant reviews begin in late 2004. Let us explain.
We needed a web site in order to publish the reviews. Before we could have a web site, though, our plenary web site task force said we needed a strategic plan.
The ad hoc working group we appointed to develop the plan told us that we couldn't be strategic without a mission statement to guide us.
We appointed a special missionary committee to look into it.
The committee reported that we couldn't have a mission statement without first coming up with a vision statement to place our mission in its proper global context.
We appointed a blue ribbon panel.
The panel reported that the Old Testament says, "Where there is no vision, the people perish." This worried us, so we appointed a special commission.
The commission found that Lee Harvey Oswald didn't act alone and that we needed an in-depth, top-to-bottom management overhaul.
The new management team was unable to locate vital documents from our planning/mission/vision efforts and suggested we have a web site.
We owe a debt of gratitude to Cassidy's Restaurant, where we usually meet for prebondage beers. We're not sure why, exactly, we owe Bob and crew anything, since we have to pay for our drinks, but our regular seats in the bar have always been free when we've needed them.
Article I. We have no bylaws.
Article II. Article I is not a bylaw; neither is Article II.
Walkabond, Electabond, Bondage by the Bay, etc.
We hold these truths to be self-evident...
last updated 4/15/24
Send praise (lavish), suggestions (helpful) or comments (thoughtful) to
sjteich@gmail.com.
Criticism (we're beyond it) or reproach (we're above it) should be directed to heckuvajobbrownie@fema.gov.
Please put "Bondage" or, if you're the shy type, "Boundtoeat" in the subject line.