La Fraternite du Bondage Gastronomique's Special Events

"Bound to Eat!"

Walkabond

Every summer we spend one Saturday making a loop through Portland's five quadrants, stopping to graze at least once per quadrant. It's all day and all on foot. The first Walkabond - 1995 or 96 - was a simple affair, covering only four quadrants (who knew NoPo had good eats?) and taking just eight hours or so. Pussies that we were, we didn't even attempt a real circuit. Starting in NE, we finished in NW, where we'd parked a car for our return. In our second year, we made a complete circuit, beginning and ending in NW. We added North Portland for Walkabond III or IV. We start walking about 8:30 am and get done around 11 pm. After that, it's time for pizza (Escape from New York), dessert (Papa Haydn), and a movie at one of our homes. Everything's over by 1 or 2 the following morning. And we're thoroughly bonded. Maybe even epoxied.

7/17/10 - Itinerary (21 stops): Byways Cafe (NW), Pearl Bakery (NW), Muddy's (N), The Meadow (N), Cup & Saucer (N), Equinox (N), Eat (N), Tasty n Sons (N), Ned Ludd (NE), Free House (NE), Petisco (NE), Pambiche (NE), Navarre (NE), Bar Accanto (SE), Wild Abandon (SE), La Calaca Comelona (SE), Huber's (SW), Cassidy's (SW), Moonstruck Chocolate Cafe (NW), Escape from New York (NW), Papa Haydn (NW). Official Walkabond movie: I Love You, Alice B. Toklas.

7/11/09 - Itinerary (20 stops): Byways Cafe (NW), Pearl Bakery (NW), Nuvrei Kitchen (NW), Cupcake Jones (NW), Sip & Kranz (NW), Widmer Brothers Gasthaus (N), Laughing Planet (N), Casa Naranja (N), Radio Room (NE), Petisco (NE), Rose & Thistle (NE), Pambiche (NE), Wine Down (NE), Esparza's (SE), Wild Abandon (SE), Tiger's Cafe (SE), Huber's (SW), Cassidy's (SW), Escape from New York (NW), Papa Haydn (NW). Official Walkabond movie: Neighbors.

7/19/08 - Itinerary (17 stops): Byways Cafe (NW), Pearl Bakery (NW), John's Cafe (NW), Widmer Brothers Gasthaus (N), Mississippi Station (N), Tita's Filipino Fare (N), Bye and Bye (NE), Halo Thai (NE), Tour de Crepes (NE), Pambiche (NE), Wine Down (NE), Noble Rot (SE), Wild Abandon (SE), Nostrana (SE), Cassidy's (SW), Escape from New York (NW), Papa Haydn (NW). Official Walkabond movie: Men in Black.

7/21/07 - Itinerary (17 stops): Noah's Bagels (NW), Manzana (NW), Widmer Brothers Gasthaus (N), Russell St. Bar.B.Que (NE), Echo (NE), Yuki (NE), Segafredo Zanetti (NE), Pambiche (NE), Staccato Gelato (NE), Wine Down (NE), Navarre (NE), Taqueria Nueve (NE), Nuestra Cocina (SE), Riyadh (SE), Cassidy's (SW), Escape from New York (NW), Papa Haydn (NW). Official Walkabond movie: Borat.

7/15/06 - Itinerary (17 stops): Byways Cafe (NW), Bridgeport Bakery (NW), Via Delizia (NW), Widmer Brothers Gasthaus (N), Lorenzo's (N), Grand Central Bakery (N), Echo (NE), Rose & Thistle (NE), Pambiche (NE), Wine Down (NE), Wild Abandon (SE), Vincente's (SE), Ken's Place (SE), Veritable Quandary (SW), Cassidy's (SW), Escape from New York (NW), Papa Haydn (NW). Official Walkabond movie: Network.

7/16/05 - Itinerary (13 stops): Rose's Deli (NW), Three Lions Deli (SW), Virginia Cafe (SW), Veritable Quandary (SW), Vincente's (SE), Pied Cow (SE), Pambiche (NE), Staccato Gelato (NE), Navarre (NE), 820/Mint (N), Cassidy's (SW), Escape from New York (NW), Papa Haydn (NW). Semiofficial (we're not sure of the year) Walkabond movie: All the President's Men.

7/17/04 - Itinerary (14 stops): Byways Cafe (NW), Pearl Bakery (NW), Widmer Brewery (N), Russell St. BBQ (NE), Blowfish (NE), Costello's Travel Cafe (NE), Pambiche (NE), Wine Down (NE), Bangkok Kitchen (SE), Wild Abandon (SE), Karam (SW), Cassidy's (SW), Escape from New York (NW), Papa Haydn (NW).

7/19/03 - Itinerary (14 stops): Byways Cafe (NW), Widmer Brewery (N), Purple Parlor (N), Noodlehead (NE), Pambiche (NE), Staccato Gelato (NE), Wine Down (NE), Wild Abandon (SE), Ken's Place (SE), Riyadh's (SE), Veritable Quandary (SW), Cassidy's (SW), Escape from New York (NW), Papa Haydn (NW).

7/27/02 - Itinerary (10 stops): Fuller's (NW), Purple Parlor (N), Torrefazione Italia (NE), Pambiche (NE), Hoda's (SE), Bridgeport Ale House (SE), Wild Abandon (SE), Cassidy's (SW), Escape from New York (NW), Papa Haydn (NW).

***We're looking for corporate sponsorship for Walkabond. Imagine us coming into your restaurant (or someone else's) with your logo on our shirts/hats/eyepatches. If you're interested, contact FBG's Minister of Information, Steve Teich, at 503.284.6769 or sjteich@gmail.com.

Genabond

December means it's time for dining at Genoa, our favorite restaurant. As soon as we win the lottery (and we will, because, unlike others, we play it for investment purposes), we'll make it monthly. Or we would have. Genoa closed its doors in November 2008.

But wait! Genoa reopened in December 2009, so we're still on track for monthly visits.

The date of Genabond I is lost in the mists of time (1994/5/6), but over the years it's become an official tradition. Traditions are important; having them proves we're sensitive. And hip.

Electabond

For November bondage in even-numbered years, we suck down mass quantities of Escape from New York pizza (every other Portland version - excepting Apizza Scholls's - we've encountered is merely pizza-like substance) and watch the returns. Electabond I took place in 1996.

Stanabond

In April we take along our deceased acquaintance, Stan. He wanted to bond with us when he was alive, so it's the least we can do. Stan first accompanied us in 2003.

Bondage by the Bay

In September 2007 we took a four-day trip to San Francisco. Our primary purpose was to eat. A lot. And often. Our secondary purpose was to eat some more. The official, unabridged account of our first out-of-state bondage will leave you (insert your own adjective after reading it).

 

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Send praise (lavish), suggestions (helpful) or comments (thoughtful) to sjteich@gmail.com. Criticism (we're beyond it) or reproach (we're above it) should be directed to heckuvajobbrownie@fema.gov. Please put "Bondage" or, if you're the shy type, "Boundtoeat" in the subject line.